Aging is Inevitable….Own it!

One thing that is apparent.  Aging is inevitable.  Now, I have never been one to have issues with my age.  Those that know me, have regularly heard me say “age is just a number”.  Well, this is true! Age is just a number and how we feel, think, and act truly reflects our life age. 

            However, if that were the end of it….this would leave for a very short blog.  As I personally creep closer to my 40th birthday, I can see how people can set themselves up for having a mid-life crisis.  It has come to realization that some of my clients are 3x younger than I.  Which really makes you start to wonder..where did the time go?  What happened to the time that you were the young, fresh, light to the room?  Now others are clearly younger, fresher, and clearly have a little more pep in their step. Or is that what we perceive it to be?

            Age does have its benefits.  Our life experience gives us a great reference library to assist us while we make our wisdomly advice to others. We also have gotten through our heighten hormonal years and know that the world is not over from one instant… we have time to process how we would like to seek things out.  There is more opportunity for growth in establishing ourselves within our community and we have freedom to choose where we want our lives to play out.

             I believe that sometimes we focus to much on what was instead of what is to be.  If we are constantly caught looking backward, how are we ever supposed to move forward?  Yes, we can’t re-due the past.  There may even some remorse on courses’ of action that took place in your life decisions.  However, what we aren’t honoring is the growth that it took you to get where you are now.  We aren’t appreciating the life lessons to their entirety.  Each of us have a path that is laid out in front of us….and yes, we choose this path. Even when you felt like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, we still made choices to which got us where we are.

            Regardless of how we feel on our current state, the question is where do we want to be?  All of us have witnessed seniors in horrific shape regardless of their age.  This is how we have a truly fit 80 year hold with tons of energy, and we can have an 80-year-old that looks like sudden death.  These are the things that we should be paying attention to in our life to help us mentally prep for our condition.  Do you want to be the old person that rolls around on the floor with your grandchildren?  Or the one that can’t get off the floor?  More importantly, we know that we can never fully predict where life is going to take us. On that note, we need to be prepared for the unexpected.  The loved one that becomes sick and needs constant care.  Family support that dissipates with time.  The unexpected single life into retirement.  Caring for a grandchild full-time. Life changes quickly in profoundly amazing ways, even during some traumatizing experiences.  The only control we do have is of ourselves.  I know that I want to be in a condition that is considered reliable for my kids and anyone that comes after.  Therefore, I choose to take care of myself mind, body, and soul all year round.  And that truly is the best birthday present anyone can ever give themselves. What’s yours?   

Strong Armed or Canceled

The world seems to be a little edger than it used to be.   This doesn’t mean that we have to play in that behavior. As we have discussed in previous blogs on how to handle stress and staying with higher self, it is more important than ever to pay attention to what is happening with the world so that we ourselves do not get swept up into the vortex. 

                Lately, I have been watching this show called the “Gilded Age”.  It is based on times when the United States was speeding into progression. It was a time where everything seemed to be changing so quickly.  Business prospects, new machinery that had never been created or used before, along with the people of “new money”.  “New money” was earned on new ways of doing things that sounded odd or peculiar to people with old money.  Does any of this sound familiar?

                In times of progression there seems to be many variables at play but there seems to be one common trend.  Judgement and feeding the ego.  Society begins to separate for difference of opinion whether it be pro progression/change or what people should be putting their attention towards. With these perspectives, there seems to be a lot of strong arming to influence change.  If one does not comply, cancel culture is due to follow.

                In states of progression and change, one things is obvious…it can create a great divide.  What society doesn’t seem to realize time and time again, is this divide creates a world of excluders and the excluded. So even when society deems to cancel someone, they essential can not.  The person still exists.  They just might exist with one group or the other.  Forcing each group to create their own community.  Unfortunately, the long lesson is the hardest to grasp and that is the fact that eventually each group will eventually cross paths!  Each group will need the other at some point.  So wouldn’t it seem more appropriate if we learned to work together in the long run regardless. It not only sets a good example for our children, but it also sets us up to possible not repeat the past. 

                I personally feel that we all can do better than our predecessors of society. I believe that instead of falling victim to this progressionary process…we all should defy the odds and keep our opinions out of it!  Opinions are neither right or wrong, they are just different.  We need to respect each other’s space to live the way they choose to live it.  We need to better by focusing on creating our healthy world by seeking positive change through positive action.  If the age old tale tells us two wrongs don’t make a right.  Then why would our behaviors towards others not provide the same effect. 

Society is very much like a holiday family dinner.  There are family members that bring the best out of you and there are family members that bring the worst out of you.  But in the end, we learned to deal with each other because we are family.

 We are all in it together.

Keeping Ego in Check

There are going to be some truly great things that we do in life, but we need to make sure that our ego does not take the front runner to these achievements. 

“We are exactly where we are supposed to be in this place and time exactly as we are.”

In life we are presented with two sides of our self.  Our ego which focuses so much on the physical part of life.  This is where we are focused on titles, positions, the labels of things.  Ego can also be a root focus pertaining to our opinions and setting standards for our expectation of others. 

Our higher self is where we stay in an observational state of awareness.  There is nothing but pure love and joy found within the higher self.  There is no judgements, opinions, or expectations.  Whatever there is…is as it should be.  We are exactly where we are supposed to be in this place and time exactly as we are.  It’s full acceptance of our current state with nothing but admiration for our ability to be here in the now.

All of us have an inner glow and passion that will strive to seek completion of certain achievements.  Some of it is our life path to learn and evolve into new versions of ourselves.  We need to be cautious to not allow the ego to take over with our successes.  We can always hold appreciation of our accomplishments, but once we allow the ego to become empowered and over charged with pride we then make it about ourselves and not about the message that is trying to be revealed. 

Many times, we see the ego expressed through competition.  It can strongly funnel the drive from within that gets us to push for greatness.  However, if we allow the ego to become overrun…this is when you witness smashing of rackets, unwillingness to accept defeat, and poor sportsman like conduct.  We can visually see the reaction of the higher-self take over when witnessing an athlete that has put forth their best game and completely surrenders to defeat.  This is always followed by a “wow” shock and a nod followed by a handshake of “great game” usually with lifted smile or laugh crossing the face towards the other opponent.  This is a perfect example of the beauty that shines from within and how to create the balance in our physical world of keeping ego and higher-self working in balance. 

This sets the example for others that even on our best days…there may be defeat.  But knowing that we have put our best foot forward and even having faced defeat…that was a very impressive and impressionable moment to have lived through.  It’s the magic of life efforts coming to fruition….so what’s the message?  Allow the powers at be to play out life’s course with less resistance to the outcome. 

Allow your ego to thrive with its strengths but keeping the complications silent.  Stay in a peaceful heightened state of awareness to ensure the ego does not become too full of itself as life plays out. And most importantly…look for the lesson to be learned from the experience.  Not just from within ourselves, but for the message that is being delivered to others from your experience.

How do you react under pressure?

Don’t be a Karen!

Today a lot of us are witnessing a lot of what the public call “Karen’s”.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, this term generally means that this particular individual is acting up surd and is losing there ever loving mind over something silly or unnecessary. Be that as it may, what is really going on here?  Do you actually think that people are generally that crazy?  Some of you are jumping at the “YES they are” response, but bare with me.  People don’t just roll out of bed with the mindsight to go bitch at anyone that will listen.  Usually people have been pushed in some way or another.  Usually they have gotten to a point of cracking because of high stress and uncomfortability.  So what we are witnessing is someone’s reaction to pressure.  Where does that leave us?

If we as a people shun off the very people that are in their most desperate time of need and care….what does that say about us?  There are some people that can not be helped.  There are some people that need more professional assistance, but we as good thoughtful people can at least ask someone “are you okay?”.  Sometimes just asking that question can awaken someone out of their panicked mindset to realize that they are acting irrational. 

How do you react under pressure?  Do you want to burrow yourself under a blanket and hide from the world?  Do you run it off?  Do you drink away your feelings?  

All of these things provide one solid thing….avoidance.  It ultimately doesn’t fix anything.  In our darkest days, we at the very least have to face the things that have brought us to new lows.  Avoidance never makes anything go away. It just gives it more power over us until we decide to act.  So I am asking you….are you okay?  If your answer to that is no…what can we do about it?  What is the first step that would help you get moving forward and headed in the right direction?

Never fear the impossible. We will work through it. Reach out to those that can help and you’ll be surprised by the response.  Don’t allow yourself to turn into another Karen of the world. 

You don’t have to re-invent yourself!

Society tells us we need to create a new version of ourselves….why?

the core of who we are is freaking fabulous!

“The essence of who you are in all its awesomeness doesn’t go away”

-Abby Pagud

All the subjects flying past you during this time of year is asking what you want OR how you can create a new you in 2022.  I’m gonna switch up the subject and say..what do you NOT want!  And even more so….why do we have to recreate ourselves into someone else?  The fact is…every single one of us are pretty freaking amazing!  Sure we have our quirks that need improvement, but the core of who we are is freaking fabulous!

For the last couple years, all have us have had to live through situations we didn’t intentionally sign up for.  It doesn’t matter where you stand, what your beliefs are, or how you choose to lead your life.  We have all been affected.  The most important thing to remember this year and all the years going forward is that we do have and have always had choice!  You have the right to live your life as you wish, without inflecting pain upon others (of course). 
         

 So I ask you….what do you not want to continue in your life anymore?  What is no longer serving you?  All of us have habits and behaviors that we outgrow.  Viewpoints that have changed over the years because of life experiences/aging OR even change from learning a different perspective.  So what is no longer serving you?  Identifying how we hold on to creatures of the past and/or habit trends that don’t fit with who you want to be is the first step to getting there.  You can dream all day of the life you in vision, the things you wish to have, the person you want to be….but all of that starts with purifying yourself of the things that no longer serve you.  You can’t shift into that version of yourself if you are still playing in the patterns of the old version of yourself.  This doesn’t mean that you have to transform into a whole different person.  The essence of who you are in all its awesomeness doesn’t go away.  It’s about allowing yourself to stop the blockades that prevent you from shining your awesomeness to the world!
         

Lets break that down?
 

1- External influences can have a profound effect on our mindset.  How do the people you spend your time treat you and those around you?  Do they lift you up and provide support?  Are they treating others with love and respect?  Do they have attributes that are things you yourself align with and want to continue in your life?  Making sure you have a good support system and proper mental support in your daily interactions influence how you view yourself and what behaviors you believe are acceptable.  When you have influences that knock you down when you’re striving for more, you start to distrust in your capabilities.  This then creates a perpetuating thought to question what you put your energy into.  Now, I do understand that all of us are not perfect, we were never supposed to be.  We are creatures of habit and need to constantly self reflect to make sure we are evolving and creating better things in your world.  So on that note, if your friends are encouraging you to address your traits that keep getting you in rut….remember these people are not trying to bring you down, they are merely trying to influence you to rise above your obstacles so you can stop the cycle of rutsville.


2- How are you treating yourself?  Are you constantly beating up on yourself for not getting things done, running out of time, or not taking the time for yourself?   Cut yourself some slack.  Sometimes the things we have to learn about ourselves most is allowing ourself to take the time that is needed in the moment.  And sometimes that’s just a nap!  Allow your body time to recuperate from the stress we face.  Start setting time aside for the things that help you re-ground.  Whatever that looks like for you…this could be journaling, meditation, acupuncture, working out, an activity, or even taking a nap.  ALLOW yourself to self-care. You know what you need…sometimes we are just afraid to admit it or more likely feel guilty saying so. 


3- Choice.  Choice is a huge subject today.  Every time I think of the word choice, I reflect back to the bad hair-cut that I’m sure all of us have received.  This is the one we witnessed heading in the wrong direction, but stayed silent in hopes it wasn’t going that way. The best part is when all is finished….sure enough we are shocked with the results!  We all made a choice in that moment.  We choose to not say anything and then got upset with the result. Now, I’m not by any means encouraging people to just start blabbing around town what their opinions are.  We need to be aware that constant expression of opinion does not respect peoples space or their process through their life phases.  It’s about an awareness of what your choice brings.  Not telling your hair person during the process so that you both remain on the same page is a choice you took and in return you were a contributing factor to the end result.  Acknowledgement of choice is also an understanding of accepting accountability for the decisions we make.  If we preach peace, love, and harmony, but then turn around and criticize others for their choices…we are then promoting judgment and ridicule. 

We need to realize that we are all different as we are supposed to be, because what a boring world would we have if it was all cookie cutter and Stepford wives.  I encourage you all to start reflecting on behaviors and image you want to project to the world.  Once you have figured out what that is….start creating steps to keep you on track with the path.

Let go of what is no longer serving you or no longer aligns with who you are.  Embrace change by shinning your awesomeness! 

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